Sunday, May 17, 2015

Boswell’s Life of Johnson: 79


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D., Assistant Professor of English as a First Language Studies, Assistant Women’s Field Hockey Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Case of the Lion Tamer Whose Head Was Bitten Off by the Lion, the Olney Community College Press.

Art direction by rhoda penmarq (layout, pencils, and colors by roy dismas; lettering and inks by eddie el greco); a penmarq studios™/david susskind co-production

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for previous chapter, click here






Next morning I sent him a note, stating, that I might have been in the wrong, but it was not intentionally; he was therefore, I could not help thinking, too severe upon me. That notwithstanding our agreement not to meet that day, I would call on him in my way to the city, and stay five minutes by my watch. 

'You are, (said I,) in my mind, since last night, surrounded with cloud and storm. Let me have a glimpse of sunshine, and go about my affairs in serenity and chearfulness.'



Upon entering his study, I was glad that he was not alone, which would have made our meeting more awkward. There were with him, Mr. Steevens and Mr. Tyers, both of whom I now saw for the first time. My note had, on his own reflection, softened him, for he received me very complacently; so that I unexpectedly found myself at ease, and joined in the conversation.


He said, the criticks had done too much honour to Sir Richard Blackmore, by writing so much against him. That in his Creation he had been helped by various wits, a line by Phillips and a line by Tickell; so that by their aid, and that of others, the poem had been made out.

I defended Blackmore's supposed lines, which have been ridiculed as absolute nonsense:—

'A painted vest Prince Voltiger had on, Which from a naked Pict his grandsire won.’


I maintained it to be a poetical conceit. A Pict being painted, if he is slain in battle, and a vest is made of his skin, it is a painted vest won from him, though he was naked.

Johnson spoke unfavourably of a certain pretty voluminous authour, saying, 'He used to write anonymous books, and then other books commending those books, in which there was something of rascality.'

I whispered him, 'Well, Sir, you are now in good humour.'

JOHNSON. 'Yes, Sir.' 


I was going to leave him, and had got as far as the staircase. He stopped me, and smiling, said, 'Get you gone in;' a curious mode of inviting me to stay, which I accordingly did for some time longer.

This little incidental quarrel and reconciliation, which, perhaps, I may be thought to have detailed too minutely , must be esteemed as one of many proofs which his friends had, that though he might be charged with bad humour at times, he was always a good-natured man; and I have heard Sir Joshua Reynolds, a nice and delicate observer of manners, particularly remark, that when upon any occasion Johnson had been rough to any person in company, he took the first opportunity of reconciliation, by drinking to him, or addressing his discourse to him;


but if he found his dignified indirect overtures sullenly neglected, he was quite indifferent, and considered himself as having done all that he ought to do, and the other as now in the wrong.

Being to set out for Scotland on the 10th of November, I wrote to him at Streatham, begging that he would meet me in town on the 9th; but if this should be very inconvenient to him, I would go thither. His answer was as follows:—

'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ. 

'DEAR SIR, 


'Upon balancing the inconveniences of both parties, I find it will less incommode you to spend your night here, than me to come to town. I wish to see you, and am ordered by the lady of this house to invite you hither. Whether you can come or not, I shall not have any occasion of writing to you again before your marriage, and therefore tell you now, that with great sincerity I wish you happiness. 

'I am, dear Sir, 

'Your most affectionate humble servant, 

'SAM. JOHNSON.' 

'Nov. 9, 1769.'

I was detained in town till it was too late on the ninth, so went to him early on the morning of the tenth of November. 

'Now (said he,) that you are going to marry, do not expect more from life, than life will afford. You may often find yourself out of humour, and you may often think your wife not studious enough to please you; and yet you may have reason to consider yourself as upon the whole very happily married.'

Talking of marriage in general, he observed, 'Our marriage service is too refined. It is calculated only for the best kind of marriages; whereas, we should have a form for matches of convenience, of which there are many.' 

He agreed with me that there was no absolute necessity for having the marriage ceremony performed by a regular clergyman, for this was not commanded in scripture.


I was volatile enough to repeat to him a little epigrammatick song of mine, on matrimony, which Mr. Garrick had a few days before procured to be set to musick by the very ingenious Mr. Dibden.

'A MATRIMONIAL THOUGHT. 

'In the blithe days of honey-moon, 
With Kate's allurements smitten, 
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon, 
And call'd her dearest kitten. 
But now my kitten's grown a cat, 
And cross like other wives, 
O! by my soul, my honest Mat, 
I fear she has nine lives.'


My illustrious friend said, 'It is very well, Sir; but you should not swear.' Upon which I altered 'O! by my soul,' to 'alas, alas!'

He was so good as to accompany me to London, and see me into the post-chaise which was to carry me on my road to Scotland. And sure I am, that, however inconsiderable many of the particulars recorded at this time may appear to some, they will be esteemed by the best part of my readers as genuine traits of his character, contributing together to give a full, fair, and distinct view of it.

 

(To be continued. This project is brought to you through the generosity of the Bob’s Bowery Bar™ Foundation for Uncommercial Art and Literature: “Another delightful new addition to the ‘Summer Menu’ at Bob’s Bowery Bar is ‘Bob’s Mom’s “Own”’ Tripe Sandwich: bock-braised tripe served with thick tangy tomato sauce and “long hots” on a fresh-baked eight-inch sourdough roll –

I always wind up eating two (or three!) and they go swell with Bob’s famous ‘basement-brewed’ house bock!” – Horace P. Sternwall, host of The Bob’s Bowery Bar Classic Book Club Hour, Saturdays at 5pm, exclusively on the Dumont radio network – broadcast live from Bob’s Bowery Bar at Bleecker and the Bowery. This week’s guests: Edmund Wilson, Sax Rohmer, and James Branch Cabell.)


part 80



Sunday, May 10, 2015

selections from samuel johnson's dictionary - "p" : addendum




Selections from Samuel Johnson’s Dictionary: “P”


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D., Assistant Professor of Sesquipedalian Studies, Associate Advisor of Student Advisors, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Case of the Importunate Perturbatour; the Olney Community College Press.

Illustrations and design by rhoda penmarq; inks by roy dismas; lettering by eddie el greco; a penmarq studios™/gower gulch™ production.

to begin selections from Samuel Johnson's Dictionary, click here

for previous selection from Samuel Johnson's Dictionary, click here

to begin at the beginning of Boswell's Life of Johnson, click here

for previous chapter of Boswell's Life of Johnson, click here





Pander. A pimp; a male bawd; a procurer.

Let him with his cap in hand,
Like a base pander, hold the chamber door
Whilst by a slave
His fairest daughter is contaminated.  Shakesp. Hen. V.

***

Paradise

1. The blissful regions, in which the first pair was placed.

2. Any place of felicity.


If ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise,
It were very gross behavior.  Shakesp. Romeo and Juliet.


***

Patron. One who countenances, supports or protects. Commonly a wretch who supports with insolence, and is paid with flattery.

***

Pauciloquy. Sparing and rare speech. 

***

Peccadillo. A petty fault; a slight crime; a venial offence.

He means those little vices, which we call follies and the defects of the human understanding, or at most the peccadillos of life, rather than the tragical vices to which men are hurried by their unruly passions.  Dryden.

***

Pedantry. Awkward ostentation of needless learning.



From the universities the young nobility are sent for fear of contracting any airs of pedantry by a college education.  Swift.

***

Peevish. Petulant; waspish; easily offended; irritable; irascible; soon angry; perverse; morose; querulous; full of expressions of discontent; hard to please.



If thou hast the metal of a king,

Being wrong'd as we are by this peevish town,

Turn thou the mouth of thy artillery,

As we will ours, against these saucy walls.  Shakesp.

***

Perturbatour.  A raiser of commotions.


 ***

Pie. Any crust baked with something in it.



Mincing of meat in pies saveth the grinding of the teeth, and therefore more nourishing to them that have weak teeth.  Bacon's Natural History.

***

Pigsney. A word of endearment to a girl.

***

Pony. [I know not the origin of this word.] A small horse.

***

Princox. A coxcomb; a conceited person, a pert young rogue.



You are a saucy boy;

This trick may chance to scathe you I know what;

You must contrary me! you are a princox, go.  Shakesp.

***

Privado. A secret friend.



The lady Brampton, an English lady, embarked for Portugal at that time, with some privado of her own.  Bacon.

***

To Procrastinate. To be dilatory.

I procrastinate more than I did twenty years ago, and have several things to finish, which I put off to twenty years hence.  Swift to Pope.

***

Pshaw. An expression of contempt.



A peevish fellow has some reason for being out of humour, or has a natural incapacity for delight, and therefore disturbs all with pishes and pshaws. Spectator, № 438.


***

Pus. The matter of a well digested sore.

***

Pyx. The box in which the Romanists keep the host.



***

(Our illustrated adaptation of Boswell’s Life of Johnson will resume next week. Classix Comix is sponsored by Bob’s Bowery Bar™, at the corner of Bleecker and the Bowery: “One of my favorite items on the Bob’s Bowery Bar menu (and a staple in my early and impecunious days in this great city) is ‘Bob’s Mom’s Hotdog Deluxe’

a crispy grilled homemade eight-inch wiener served with house-cured sauerkraut on a fresh-baked sourdough roll – three or four of these babies and you’ll have all the nutrition you’ll need for the day!” – Horace P. Sternwall, host of Bob’s Bowery Bar’s Campfire Yarns, exclusively on the Dumont Radio Network, Wednesdays at 10pm, EST.)

"Q"




Sunday, May 3, 2015

Boswell’s Life of Johnson: 78


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D., Associate Professor of Remedial Basic Writing Skills, Assistant Women’s Volleyball Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Case of the Boring Bohemian, the Olney Community College Press.

Art by rhoda penmarq (proofreading by roy dismas; lettering by eddie el greco) for penmarq pangalactic™ studios, ltd.

to begin at the beginning, click here

for previous chapter, click here






He observed, 

'Providence has wisely ordered that the more numerous men are, the more difficult it is for them to agree in any thing, and so they are governed. There is no doubt, that if the poor should reason, "We'll be the poor no longer, we'll make the rich take their turn," they could easily do it, were it not that they can't agree. So the common soldiers, though so much more numerous than their officers, are governed by them for the same reason.'

He said, 


'Mankind have a strong attachment to the habitations to which they have been accustomed. You see the inhabitants of Norway do not with one consent quit it, and go to some part of America, where there is a mild climate, and where they may have the same produce from land, with the tenth part of the labour. No, Sir; their affection for their old dwellings, and the terrour of a general change, keep them at home. Thus, we see many of the finest spots in the world thinly inhabited, and many rugged spots well inhabited.'



The London Chronicle, which was the only news-paper he constantly took in, being brought, the office of reading it aloud was assigned to me. I was diverted by his impatience. He made me pass over so many parts of it, that my task was very easy. He would not suffer one of the petitions to the King about the Middlesex election to be read.


I had hired a Bohemian as my servant while I remained in London, and being much pleased with him, I asked Dr. Johnson whether his being a Roman Catholick should prevent my taking him with me to Scotland.

JOHNSON. 'Why no, Sir, if he has no objection, you can have none.'


BOSWELL. 'So, Sir, you are no great enemy to the Roman Catholick religion.' 

JOHNSON. 'No more, Sir, than to the Presbyterian religion.' 

BOSWELL. 'You are joking.' 

JOHNSON. 'No, Sir, I really think so. Nay, Sir, of the two, I prefer the Popish.' 

BOSWELL. 'How so, Sir?' 

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, the Presbyterians have no church, no apostolical ordination.' 

BOSWELL. 'And do you think that absolutely essential, Sir?' 


JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, as it was an apostolical institution, I think it is dangerous to be without it. And, Sir, the Presbyterians have no public worship: they have no form of prayer in which they know they are to join. They go to hear a man pray, and are to judge whether they will join with him.' 

BOSWELL. 'But, Sir, their doctrine is the same with that of the Church of England. Their confession of faith, and the thirty-nine articles, contain the same points, even the doctrine of predestination.' 

JOHNSON. 'Why yes, Sir, predestination was a part of the clamour of the times, so it is mentioned in our articles, but with as little positiveness as could be.' 


BOSWELL. 'Is it necessary, Sir, to believe all the thirty-nine articles?' 

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, that is a question which has been much agitated. Some have thought it necessary that they should all be believed; others have considered them to be only articles of peace, that is to say, you are not to preach against them. 

BOSWELL. 'It appears to me, Sir, that predestination, or what is equivalent to it, cannot be avoided, if we hold an universal prescience in the Deity.' 


JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, does not GOD every day see things going on without preventing them?' 

BOSWELL. 'True, Sir; but if a thing be certainly foreseen, it must be fixed, and cannot happen otherwise; and if we apply this consideration to the human mind, there is no free will, nor do I see how prayer can be of any avail.' 

He mentioned Dr. Clarke, and Bishop Bramhall on Liberty and Necessity, and bid me read South's Sermons on Prayer; but avoided the question which has excruciated philosophers and divines, beyond any other. I did not press it further, when I perceived that he was displeased, and shrunk from any abridgement of an attribute usually ascribed to the Divinity, however irreconcilable in its full extent with the grand system of moral government.


His supposed orthodoxy here cramped the vigorous powers of his understanding. He was confined by a chain which early imagination and long habit made him think massy and strong, but which, had he ventured to try, he could at once have snapt asunder.


I proceeded: 'What do you think, Sir, of Purgatory, as believed by the Roman Catholicks?'

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, it is a very harmless doctrine. They are of opinion that the generality of mankind are neither so obstinately wicked as to deserve everlasting punishment, nor so good as to merit being admitted into the society of blessed spirits;


and therefore that God is graciously pleased to allow of a middle state, where they may be purified by certain degrees of suffering. You see, Sir, there is nothing unreasonable in this.'

BOSWELL. 'But then, Sir, their masses for the dead?'

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, if it be once established that there are souls in purgatory, it is as proper to pray for them, as for our brethren of mankind who are yet in this life.'

BOSWELL. 'The idolatry of the Mass?'


JOHNSON. 'Sir, there is no idolatry in the Mass. They believe GOD to be there, and they adore him.'

BOSWELL. 'The worship of Saints?'

JOHNSON. 'Sir, they do not worship saints; they invoke them; they only ask their prayers. I am talking all this time of the doctrines of the Church of Rome. I grant you that in practice, Purgatory is made a lucrative imposition, and that the people do become idolatrous as they recommend themselves to the tutelary protection of particular saints.'

I thus ventured to mention all the common objections against the Roman Catholick Church, that I might hear so great a man upon them.


What he said is here accurately recorded. But it is not improbable that if one had taken the other side, he might have reasoned differently.

 
I must however mention, that he had a respect for 'the old religion,' as the mild Melancthon called that of the Roman Catholick Church, even while he was exerting himself for its reformation in some particulars. Sir William Scott informs me, that he heard Johnson say, 'A man who is converted from Protestantism to Popery may be sincere: he parts with nothing: he is only superadding to what he already had. But a convert from Popery to Protestantism gives up so much of what he has held as sacred as any thing that he retains; there is so much laceration of mind in such a conversion, that it can hardly be sincere and lasting.' 


When we were alone, I introduced the subject of death, and endeavoured to maintain that the fear of it might be got over. I told him that David Hume said to me, he was no more uneasy to think he should not be after this life, than that he had not been before he began to exist. 


JOHNSON: 'Sir, if he really thinks so, his perceptions are disturbed; he is mad: if he does not think so, he lies. He may tell you, he holds his finger in the flame of a candle, without feeling pain; would you believe him? When he dies, he at least gives up all he has.' 

BOSWELL: 'Foote, Sir, told me, that when he was very ill he was not afraid to die.' 

JOHNSON: 'It is not true, Sir. Hold a pistol to Foote's breast, or to Hume's breast, and threaten to kill them, and you'll see how they behave.' 


BOSWELL: 'But may we not fortify our minds for the approach of death?' 

Here I am sensible I was in the wrong, to bring before his view what he ever looked upon with horrour; for although when in a celestial frame, in his Vanity of human wishes, he has supposed death to be 'kind Nature's signal for retreat,' from this state of being to 'a happier seat,' his thoughts upon this aweful change were in general full of dismal apprehensions. His mind resembled the vast amphitheatre, the Colisaeum at Rome. In the centre stood his judgement, which, like a mighty gladiator, combated those apprehensions that, like the wild beasts of the Arena, were all around in cells, ready to be let out upon him. After a conflict, he drives them back into their dens; but not killing them, they were still assailing him. 


To my question, whether we might not fortify our minds for the approach of death, he answered, in a passion, 

'No, Sir, let it alone. It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time.' 

He added, (with an earnest look,) 

'A man knows it must be so, and submits. It will do him no good to whine.'

I attempted to continue the conversation. He was so provoked, that he said, 


'Give us no more of this;' 

and was thrown into such a state of agitation, that he expressed himself in a way that alarmed and distressed me; shewed an impatience that I should leave him, and when I was going away, called to me sternly, 

'Don't let us meet to-morrow.'

 
I went home exceedingly uneasy. 

All the harsh observations which I had ever heard made upon his character, crowded into my mind; and I seemed to myself like the man who had put his head into the lion's mouth a great many times with perfect safety, but at last had it bit off.


(To be continued. This series is made possible through the sponsorship of Bob’s Bowery Bar™, at the corner of Bleecker and the Bowery: “Allow me to recommend Bob’s Bowery Bar’s new ‘summer menu’: a personal favorite is ‘Bob’s Mom’s ‘bucket o’ crabs’ (a ‘steal’ at @$3.95) direct from the East River to your table! Each gallon bucket is served with a loaf of Mom’s home-baked sourdough bread and fresh ‘veg o’ the day’

– order a pitcher of Bob’s famed basement-brewed house bock and you’ll be, as the young folk say, ‘good to go’!” – Horace P. Sternwall, host of Horace P. Sternwall’s Literary Kaffeeklatsch, broadcast live from Bob’s Bowery Bar, 2pm (EST) Sundays, exclusively on the Dumont Radio Network,; this week’s guests: Bennett Cerf, Kitty Carlisle, and James Branch Cabell.)

part 79