Sunday, August 2, 2015

Boswell’s Life of Johnson: 88


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D, Professor of E.C Comics Studies, Assistant Cribbage Team Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Case of the Defective Schoolmaster, the Olney Community College Press.

Art direction by rhoda penmarq (design, layout, pencils, inks and colors by roy dismas ; lettering by eddie el greco); a rhoda penmarq studios™/aaron spelling co-production.

to begin at the beginning, click here

for previous chapter, click here






On Sunday, April 5, after attending divine service at St. Paul's church, I found him alone.

Of a schoolmaster of his acquaintance, a native of Scotland, he said, 'He has a great deal of good about him; but he is also very defective in some respects. His inner part is good, but his outer part is mighty aukward. You in Scotland do not attain that nice critical skill in languages, which we get in our schools in England. I would not put a boy to him, whom I intended for a man of learning. But for the sons of citizens, who are to learn a little, get good morals, and then go to trade, he may do very well.'


I mentioned a cause in which I had appeared as counsel at the bar of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, where a Probationer, (as one licensed to preach, but not yet ordained, is called,) was opposed in his application to be inducted, because it was alledged that he had been guilty of fornication five years before.

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, if he has repented, it is not a sufficient objection. A man who is good enough to go to heaven, is good enough to be a clergyman.'

This was a humane and liberal sentiment.


But the character of a clergyman is more sacred than that of an ordinary Christian. As he is to instruct with authority, he should be regarded with reverence, as one upon whom divine truth has had the effect to set him above such transgressions, as men less exalted by spiritual habits, and yet upon the whole not to be excluded from heaven, have been betrayed into by the predominance of passion. That clergymen may be considered as sinners in general, as all men are, cannot be denied; but this reflection will not counteract their good precepts so much, as the absolute knowledge of their having been guilty of certain specifick immoral acts.


I told him, that by the rules of the Church of Scotland, in their Book of Discipline, if a scandal, as it is called, is not prosecuted for five years, it cannot afterwards be proceeded upon, 'unless it be of a heinous nature, or again become flagrant;' and that hence a question arose, whether fornication was a sin of a heinous nature; and that I had maintained, that it did not deserve that epithet, in as much as it was not one of those sins which argue very great depravity of heart: in short, was not, in the general acceptation of mankind, a heinous sin.

JOHNSON. 'No, Sir, it is not a heinous sin. A heinous sin is that for which a man is punished with death or banishment.'


BOSWELL. 'But, Sir, after I had argued that it was not an heinous sin, an old clergyman rose up, and repeating the text of scripture denouncing judgement against whoremongers, asked, whether, considering this, there could be any doubt of fornication being a heinous sin.'

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, observe the word whoremonger. Every sin, if persisted in, will become heinous. Whoremonger is a dealer in whores, as ironmonger is a dealer in iron. But as you don't call a man an ironmonger for buying and selling a pen-knife; so you don't call a man a whoremonger for getting one wench with child.’ 


On Monday, April 6, I dined with him at Sir Alexander Macdonald's, where was a young officer in the regimentals of the Scots Royal, who talked with a vivacity, fluency, and precision so uncommon, that he attracted particular attention. He proved to be the Honourable Thomas Erskine, youngest brother to the Earl of Buchan, who has since risen into such brilliant reputation at the bar in Westminster-hall. 

Fielding being mentioned, Johnson exclaimed, 'he was a blockhead;' and upon my expressing my astonishment at so strange an assertion, he said, 'What I mean by his being a blockhead is that he was a barren rascal.'


BOSWELL. 'Will you not allow, Sir, that he draws very natural pictures of human life?'

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, it is of very low life. Richardson used to say, that had he not known who Fielding was, he should have believed he was an ostler. Sir, there is more knowledge of the heart in one letter of Richardson's, than in all Tom Jones. I, indeed, never read Joseph Andrews.'

ERSKINE, 'Surely, Sir, Richardson is very tedious.'

JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, if you were to read Richardson for the story, your impatience would be so much fretted that you would hang yourself.

But you must read him for the sentiment, and consider the story as only giving occasion to the sentiment.'


— I have already given my opinion of Fielding; but I cannot refrain from repeating here my wonder at Johnson's excessive and unaccountable depreciation of one of the best writers that England has produced. Tom Jones has stood the test of publick opinion with such success, as to have established its great merit, both for the story, the sentiments, and the manners, and also the varieties of diction, so as to leave no doubt of its having an animated truth of execution throughout. 

We talked of gaming, and animadverted on it with severity.

JOHNSON. 'Nay, gentlemen, let us not aggravate the matter. It is not roguery to play with a man who is ignorant of the game, while you are master of it, and so win his money; for he thinks he can play better than you, as you think you can play better than he; and the superiour skill carries it.' 


ERSKINE. 'He is a fool, but you are not a rogue.'

JOHNSON. 'That's much about the truth, Sir. It must be considered, that a man who only does what every one of the society to which he belongs would do, is not a dishonest man. In the republick of Sparta, it was agreed, that stealing was not dishonourable, if not discovered. I do not commend a society where there is an agreement that what would not otherwise be fair, shall be fair; but I maintain, that an individual of any society, who practises what is allowed, is not a dishonest man.'


BOSWELL. 'So then, Sir, you do not think ill of a man who wins perhaps forty thousand pounds in a winter?'

JOHNSON. 'Sir, I do not call a gamester a dishonest man; but I call him an unsocial man, an unprofitable man. Gaming is a mode of transferring property without producing any intermediate good. Trade gives employment to numbers, and so produces intermediate good.'

Mr. Erskine told us, that when he was in the island of Minorca, he not only read prayers, but preached two sermons to the regiment. He seemed to object to the passage in scripture where we are told that the angel of the Lord smote in one night forty thousand Assyrians. 


'Sir, (said Johnson,) you should recollect that there was a supernatural interposition; they were destroyed by pestilence. You are not to suppose that the angel of the LORD went about and stabbed each of them with a dagger, or knocked them on the head, man by man.'

After Mr. Erskine was gone, a discussion took place, whether the present Earl of Buchan, when Lord Cardross, did right to refuse to go Secretary of the Embassy to Spain, when Sir James Gray, a man of inferiour rank, went Ambassadour. Dr. Johnson said, that perhaps in point of interest he did wrong; but in point of dignity he did well. Sir Alexander insisted that he was wrong; and said that Mr. Pitt intended it as an advantageous thing for him. 


'Why, Sir, (said Johnson,) Mr. Pitt might think it an advantageous thing for him to make him a vintner, and get him all the Portugal trade; but he would have demeaned himself strangely had he accepted of such a situation. Sir, had he gone Secretary while his inferiour was Ambassadour, he would have been a traitor to his rank and family.'

I talked of the little attachment which subsisted between near relations in London. 

'Sir, (said Johnson,) in a country so commercial as ours, where every man can do for himself, there is not so much occasion for that attachment. No man is thought the worse of here, whose brother was hanged. In uncommercial countries, many of the branches of a family must depend on the stock;

so, in order to make the head of the family take care of them, they are represented as connected with his reputation, that, self-love being interested, he may exert himself to promote their interest. You have first large circles, or clans; as commerce increases, the connection is confined to families. By degrees, that too goes off, as having become unnecessary, and there being few opportunities of intercourse.


One brother is a merchant in the city, and another is an officer in the guards. How little intercourse can these two have!'

I argued warmly for the old feudal system. Sir Alexander opposed it, and talked of the pleasure of seeing all men free and independent. 

JOHNSON. 'I agree with Mr. Boswell that there must be a high satisfaction in being a feudal Lord; but we are to consider, that we ought not to wish to have a number of men unhappy for the satisfaction of one.'


(To be continued. This week’s episode of Boswell’s Life of Johnson is sponsored by Bob’s Bowery Bar™, conveniently located near the subway at Bleecker and the Bowery: “Don’t forget to try some of the new summer specials on the Bob’s Bowery Bar menu, including my personal favorite:

‘Bob’s Mom’s’ Fried Clam Cakes, served on a bed of baked groat clusters, with corn on the cob and stewed Jersey tomatoes, and, for dessert, ‘Mom’s Own’ Chocolate Jell-O Cake!” – Horace P. Sternwall, host of Bob’s Bowery Bar Presents Horace P. Sternwall’s Tales of Lonely People, broadcast live on Wednesdays at 8pm (EST), exclusively on the Dumont Television Network.)


part 89



Sunday, July 26, 2015

Boswell’s Life of Johnson: 87


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D, Assistant Professor of Young Adult Literature, Assistant Croquet Team Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: General Paoli’s Problem, the Olney Community College Press.

Artwork by rhoda penmarq (with the assistance of roy dismas and eddie el greco) for rhoda penmarq unlimited productions™.

to begin at the beginning, click here

for previous chapter, click here






On Tuesday, March 31, he and I dined at General Paoli's. 

A question was started, whether the state of marriage was natural to man. 

JOHNSON. 'Sir, it is so far from being natural for a man and woman to live in a state of marriage, that we find all the motives which they have for remaining in that connection, and the restraints which civilized society imposes to prevent separation, are hardly sufficient to keep them together.'

The General said, that in a state of nature a man and woman uniting together, would form a strong and constant affection, by the mutual pleasure each would receive; and that the same causes of dissention would not arise between them, as occur between husband and wife in a civilized state.


JOHNSON. 'Sir, they would have dissentions enough, though of another kind. One would choose to go a hunting in this wood, the other in that; one would choose to go a fishing in this lake, the other in that; or, perhaps, one would choose to go a hunting, when the other would choose to go a fishing; and so they would part. Besides, Sir, a savage man and a savage woman meet by chance; and when the man sees another woman that pleases him better, he will leave the first.'

We then fell into a disquisition whether there is any beauty independent of utility. The General maintained there was not. Dr. Johnson maintained that there was; and he instanced a coffee-cup which he held in his hand, the painting of which was of no real use, as the cup would hold the coffee equally well if plain; yet the painting was beautiful.

We talked of the strange custom of swearing in conversation. The General said, that all barbarous nations swore from a certain violence of temper, that could not be confined to earth, but was always reaching at the powers above. He said, too, that there was greater variety of swearing, in proportion as there was a greater variety of religious ceremonies.


Dr. Johnson went home with me to my lodgings in Conduit-street and drank tea, previous to our going to the Pantheon, which neither of us had seen before.

He said, 'Goldsmith's Life of Parnell is poor; not that it is poorly written, but that he had poor materials; for nobody can write the life of a man, but those who have eat and drunk and lived in social intercourse with him.'

I said, that if it was not troublesome and presuming too much, I would request him to tell me all the little circumstances of his life; what schools he attended, when he came to Oxford, when he came to London, &c. &c. He did not disapprove of my curiosity as to these particulars; but said, 'They'll come out by degrees as we talk together.'


We talked of the proper use of riches.

JOHNSON. 'If I were a man of a great estate, I would drive all the rascals whom I did not like out of the county at an election.’

I asked him how far he thought wealth should be employed in hospitality.

JOHNSON. 'You are to consider that ancient hospitality, of which we hear so much, was in an uncommercial country, when men being idle, were glad to be entertained at rich men's tables. But in a commercial country, a busy country, time becomes precious, and therefore hospitality is not so much valued. No doubt there is still room for a certain degree of it; and a man has a satisfaction in seeing his friends eating and drinking around him.

But promiscuous hospitality is not the way to gain real influence. You must help some people at table before others; you must ask some people how they like their wine oftener than others. You therefore offend more people than you please.


You are like the French statesman, who said, when he granted a favour, 'J'ai fait dix mécontents et un ingrat.' Besides, Sir, being entertained ever so well at a man's table, impresses no lasting regard or esteem. No, Sir, the way to make sure of power and influence is, by lending money confidentially to your neighbours at a small interest, or, perhaps, at no interest at all, and having their bonds in your possession.' 

BOSWELL. 'May not a man, Sir, employ his riches to advantage in educating young men of merit?' 

JOHNSON. 'Yes, Sir, if they fall in your way; but if it be understood that you patronize young men of merit, you will be harassed with solicitations. You will have numbers forced upon you who have no merit; some will force them upon you from mistaken partiality; and some from downright interested motives, without scruple; and you will be disgraced.'


'Were I a rich man, I would propagate all kinds of trees that will grow in the open air. A greenhouse is childish. I would introduce foreign animals into the country; for instance the reindeer.'

We then walked to the Pantheon.

The first view of it did not strike us so much as Ranelagh, of which he said, the 'coup d'oeil was the finest thing he had ever seen.' 

I said there was not half a guinea's worth of pleasure in seeing this place.

JOHNSON. 'But, Sir, there is half a guinea's worth of inferiority to other people in not having seen it.'


BOSWELL. 'I doubt, Sir, whether there are many happy people here.'

JOHNSON. 'Yes, Sir, there are many happy people here. There are many people here who are watching hundreds, and who think hundreds are watching them.'

Happening to meet Sir Adam Fergusson, I presented him to Dr. Johnson. Sir Adam expressed some apprehension that the Pantheon would encourage luxury.

'Sir, (said Johnson,) I am a great friend to publick amusements; for they keep people from vice. You now (addressing himself to me,) would have been with a wench, had you not been here.— O! I forgot you were married.'


Sir Adam suggested, that luxury corrupts a people, and destroys the spirit of liberty.

JOHNSON. 'Sir, that is all visionary. I would not give half a guinea to live under one form of government rather than another. It is of no moment to the happiness of an individual. Sir, the danger of the abuse of power is nothing to a private man. What Frenchman is prevented from passing his life as he pleases?'

SIR ADAM. 'But, Sir, in the British constitution it is surely of importance to keep up a spirit in the people, so as to preserve a balance against the crown.' 


JOHNSON. 'Sir, I perceive you are a vile Whig. Why all this childish jealousy of the power of the crown? The crown has not power enough. When I say that all governments are alike, I consider that in no government power can be abused long. Mankind will not bear it. If a sovereign oppresses his people to a great degree, they will rise and cut off his head. There is a remedy in human nature against tyranny, that will keep us safe under every form of government. Had not the people of France thought themselves honoured as sharing in the brilliant actions of Lewis XIV, they would not have endured him; and we may say the same of the King of Prussia's people.' 


Sir Adam introduced the ancient Greeks and Romans. 

JOHNSON. 'Sir, the mass of both of them were barbarians. The mass of every people must be barbarous where there is no printing, and consequently knowledge is not generally diffused . Knowledge is diffused among our people by the news-papers.'

Sir Adam mentioned the orators, poets, and artists of Greece.

JOHNSON. 'Sir, I am talking of the mass of the people. We see even what the boasted Athenians were. The little effect which Demosthenes's orations had upon them, shews that they were barbarians.'

Sir Adam was unlucky in his topicks; for he suggested a doubt of the propriety of Bishops having seats in the House of Lords.

JOHNSON. 'How so, Sir? Who is more proper for having the dignity of a peer, than a Bishop, provided a Bishop be what he ought to be; and if improper Bishops be made, that is not the fault of the Bishops, but of those who make them.'


(To be continued. This adaptation of Boswell’s Life of Johnson is made possible through a generous grant from the Bob’s Bowery Bar Endowment for the Unpopular Arts: “Eschewing false modesty, allow me to recommend ‘The Sternwall Summer Brunch Special’ at Bob’s Bowery Bar: ‘Bob’s Mom’s’ homemade cornmeal mush, fried to perfection and topped with two ‘sunny-side fried’ free-range eggs, with two hearty slabs of fried organic scrapple, lightly-breaded and fried Jersey tomato slices,

and fresh-baked ‘n’ fried sourdough rolls served with ‘Mom’s peach preserves’, all of it washed down with lashings of strong Assam tea and finished off with a tall schooner of Bob’s famous ‘basement brewed’ house bock!” – Horace P. Sternwall, host of Bob’s Bowery Bar Presents The Horace P. Sternwall Mystery Hour, broadcast live on Tuesdays at 8pm (EST), exclusively on the Dumont Television Network.)


part 88



Sunday, July 19, 2015

Selections from Samuel Johnson’s Dictionary: “R”


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D., Assistant Professor of Physical Reëducation, Assistant Mah-Jongg Team Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Case of the Revolting Revolutionary; the Olney Community College Press.

Art direction by rhoda penmarq (layout, pencils, inks, colors and lettering by roy dismas; copy-editing by eddie el greco) for rhoda penmarq™ post-post-modern productions.

to begin selections from Samuel Johnson's Dictionary, click here

for previous selection from Samuel Johnson's Dictionary, click here

to begin at the beginning of Boswell's Life of Johnson, click here

for previous chapter of Boswell's Life of Johnson, click here





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R is called the canine letter, because it is uttered with some resemblance to the growl or snarl of a cur: it has one constant sound in English, such as it has in other languages; as red, rose, more, muriatick:

in words derived from the Greek, it is followed by an h, rhapsody: r is never mute, unless the second r may be accounted mute, where two rr are used; as myrrh.


***

To Rabate. In falconry, to recover a hawk to the fist again.

***

Rearmouse.  The leather-winged bat.

Some war with rearmice for their leathern wings
To make small elves coats.  Shakesp.

***

Red.  Of the colour of blood, of one of the primitive colours, which is subdivided into many; as scarlet, vermilion, crimson.

His eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.  Gen. xlix. 12.

***

Reprobate.  A man lost to virtue; a wretch abandoned to wickedness.

I acknowledge myself for a reprobate, a villain, a traytor to the king, and the most unworthy man that ever lived.  Ral. 

***

Reptile.  An animal that creeps upon many feet.

Terrestial animals may be divided into quadrupeds or reptiles, which have many feet, and serpents which have no feet.  Locke's Elements of Natural Philosophy.

***

Rhabdomancy.  Divination by a wand.

Of peculiar rhabdomancy is that which is used in mineral discoveries, with a forked hazel, commonly called Moses's rod, which, freely held forth, will stir and play if any mine be under it.  Brown's Vulgar Errours.

***

Rhetorick.  The act of speaking not merely with propriety, but with art and elegance.

Grammar teacheth us to speak properly, rhetorick instructs to speak elegantly.  Baker's Reflections on Learning.

***

Rhinoceros.  A vast beast in the East Indies armed with a horn in his front.

Approach thou like the rugged Russian bear,

The arm'd rhinoceros, or Hyrcanian tyger;

Take any shape but that, and my firm nerves

Shall never tremble.  Shakesp. Macbeth.

***

Ribaldry.  Mean, lewd, brutal language.

Mr. Cowley asserts, that obscenity has no place in wit; Buckingham says, ‘tis an ill sort of wit, which has nothing more to support it than bare-face ribaldryDryden.

***

Rice.  One of the esculent grains: it hath its grains disposed into a panicle, which are almost of an oval figure, and are covered with a thick husk, somewhat like barley: this grain is greatly cultivated in most of the Eastern countries.

Rice is the food of two thirds of mankind; it is kindly to human constitutions, proper for the consumptive, and those subject to hæmorrhages.  Arbuthnot.

***



Ridicule.  Wit of that species that provokes laughter.

Sacred to ridicule his whole life long,

And the sad burthen of some merry song.  Pope.

***

Risibility.  The quality of laughing.

Whatever the philosophers may talk of their risibility, neighing is a more noble expression than laughing.  Arbuth.

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Rubicund.  Inclining to redness.


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Ruffian.  A brutal, boisterous, mischievous fellow; a cutthroat; a robber; a murderer.

Have you a ruffian that will swear? drink? dance?
Revel the night? rob? murder?  Shakesp. Henry IV.

***

To Run. To move swiftly; to ply the legs in such a manner, as that both feet are at every step off the ground at the same time; to make haste; to pass with very quick pace.

Their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.  Prov.



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(Our illustrated abridgement of Boswell’s Life of Johnson will resume next week. Classix Comix is made possible in part through a generous grant from the Bob’s Bowery Bar™ Foundation for the Uncommercial Arts: “Allow me to recommend Bob’s Bowery Bar’s ‘Eye-Opener Special’: a tall schooner of Bob’s justly-famed ‘basement-brewed’ house bock with a large organic raw egg in it and a shot of Windsor Canadian on the side – a bargain at only two dollars!

{Offer good between the hours of 6am to 9pm, seven days a week; limit four ‘specials’ per customer.}” – Horace P. Sternwall, host of Bob’s Bowery Bar’s Midnight Tales with Horace P. Sternwall, exclusively on the Dumont Television Network, Saturdays at midnight, EST.)

"S"