Sunday, January 17, 2016

Boswell’s Life of Johnson: 106


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D., Assistant Professor of Basic English Spelling; Assistant Card-Counting Team Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Return of the Drab from Dagenham, the Olney Community College Press.

Art direction by rhoda penmarq (pencils, inks, coloring, cgi by eddie el greco ; lettering by roy dismas) for penmarqrite productions™.

to begin at the beginning, click here

for previous chapter, click here






The first effort of his pen in 1775 was, 'Proposals for publishing the Works of Mrs. Charlotte Lennox,' in three volumes quarto. In his diary, January 2, I find this entry: 'Wrote Charlotte's Proposals.' But, indeed, the internal evidence would have been quite sufficient. Her claim to the favour of the public was thus enforced:—

'Most of the pieces, as they appeared singly, have been read with approbation, perhaps above their merits, but of no great advantage to the writer. She hopes, therefore, that she shall not be considered as too indulgent to vanity, or too studious of interest, if, from that labour which has hitherto been chiefly gainful to others, she endeavours to obtain at last some profit for herself and her children. She cannot decently enforce her claim by the praise of her own performances; nor can she suppose, that, by the most artful and laboured address, any additional notice could be procured to a publication, of which Her MAJESTY has condescended to be the PATRONESS.'



He this year also wrote the Preface to Baretti's Easy Lessons in Italian and English.


'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ. 

'DEAR SIR,

'You never did ask for a book by the post till now, and I did not think on it. You see now it is done. I sent one to the King, and I hear he likes it.

'I shall send a parcel into Scotland for presents, and intend to give to many of my friends. 


'Let me know, as fast as you read it, how you like it; and let me know if any mistake is committed, or any thing important left out. I wish you could have seen the sheets. My compliments to Mrs. Boswell, and to Veronica, and to all my friends.

'I am, Sir,

'Your most humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'January 14, 1775.


'MR. BOSWELL TO DR. JOHNSON.

'Edinburgh, Jan. 19, 1775.


'Be pleased to accept of my best thanks for your Journey to the Hebrides, which came to me by last night's post. I did really ask the favour twice; but you have been even with me by granting it so speedily. Bis dat qui cito dat [“he gives twice who gives promptly” – Editor]. Though ill of a bad cold, you kept me up the greatest part of the last night; for I did not stop till I had read every word of your book. I looked back to our first talking of a visit to the Hebrides, which was many years ago, when sitting by ourselves in the Mitre tavern, in London, I think about witching time o' night; and then exulted in contemplating our scheme fulfilled, and a monumentum perenne [“enduring monument” – Ed.] of it erected by your superiour abilities. I shall only say, that your book has afforded me a high gratification. I shall afterwards give you my thoughts on particular passages.


In the mean time, I hasten to tell you of your having mistaken two names, which you will correct in London, as I shall do here, that the gentlemen who deserve the valuable compliments which you have paid them, may enjoy their honours. In page 106, for Gordon read Murchison; and in page 357, for Maclean read Macleod.


'TO JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ.

'DEAR SIR,

'I long to hear how you like the book; it is, I think, much liked here. But Macpherson is very furious; can you give me any more intelligence about him, or his Fingal? Do what you can and do it quickly. Is Lord Hailes on our side?


'I am going to write about the Americans. If you have picked up any hints among your lawyers, who are great masters of the law of nations, or if your own mind suggests any thing, let me know. But mum, it is a secret. 

'I will send your parcel of books as soon as I can; but I cannot do as I wish. However, you find every thing mentioned in the book which you recommended. 

'Langton is here; we are all that ever we were. He is a worthy fellow, without malice, though not without resentment. 

'Poor Beauclerk is so ill, that his life is thought to be in danger. Lady Di nurses him with very great assiduity.


'Reynolds has taken too much to strong liquor, and seems to delight in his new character.

'This is all the news that I have; but as you love verses, I will send you a few which I made upon Inchkenneth; but remember the condition, you shall not show them, except to Lord Hailes, whom I love better than any man whom I know so little. If he asks you to transcribe them for him, you may do it, but I think he must promise not to let them be copied again, nor to show them as mine. 

'Make my compliments to dear Mrs. Boswell, and to Miss Veronica.


'I am, dear Sir,

'Yours most faithfully,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'Jan. 21, 1775.


'MR. BOSWELL TO DR. JOHNSON.

'Edinburgh, Jan. 27, 1775.

 * * * * *

'You rate our lawyers here too high, when you call them great masters of the law of nations. 

* * * * * 


'As for myself, I am ashamed to say I have read little and thought little on the subject of America. I will be much obliged to you, if you will direct me where I shall find the best information of what is to be said on both sides. It is a subject vast in its present extent and future consequences. The imperfect hints which now float in my mind, tend rather to the formation of an opinion that our government has been precipitant and severe in the resolutions taken against the Bostonians. Well do you know that I have no kindness for that race. But nations, or bodies of men, should, as well as individuals, have a fair trial, and not be condemned on character alone. Pray let me know immediately what to read, and I shall diligently endeavour to gather for you any thing that I can find.


Is Burke's speech on American taxation published by himself? Is it authentick? I remember to have heard you say, that you had never considered East-Indian affairs; though, surely, they are of much importance to Great-Britain. Under the recollection of this, I shelter myself from the reproach of ignorance about the Americans. If you write upon the subject I shall certainly understand it. But, since you seem to expect that I should know something of it, without your instruction, and that my own mind should suggest something, I trust you will put me in the way.

* * * * *


'What does Becket mean by the Originals of Fingal and other poems of Ossian, which he advertises to have lain in his shop?'

* * * * *


'MR. BOSWELL TO DR. JOHNSON. 

'Edinburgh, Feb. 2, 1775 

* * * * * 

'As to Macpherson, I am anxious to have from yourself a full and pointed account of what has passed between you and him. It is confidently told here, that before your book came out he sent to you, to let you know that he understood you meant to deny the authenticity of Ossian's poems; that the originals were in his possession; that you might have inspection of them, and might take the evidence of people skilled in the Erse language; and that he hoped, after this fair offer, you would not be so uncandid as to assert that he had refused reasonable proof.


That you paid no regard to his message, but published your strong attack upon him; and then he wrote a letter to you, in such terms as he thought suited to one who had not acted as a man of veracity. You may believe it gives me pain to hear your conduct represented as unfavourable, while I can only deny what is said, on the ground that your character refutes it, without having any information to oppose. Let me, I beg it of you, be furnished with a sufficient answer to any calumny upon this occasion.

* * * * *


'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ.

'My DEAR BOSWELL,


'I am surprised that, knowing as you do the disposition of your countrymen to tell lies in favour of each other, you can be at all affected by any reports that circulate among them. Macpherson never in his life offered me a sight of any original or of any evidence of any kind; but thought only of intimidating me by noise and threats, till my last answer,— that I would not be deterred from detecting what I thought a cheat, by the menaces of a ruffian — put an end to our correspondence.

'The state of the question is this. He, and Dr. Blair, whom I consider as deceived, say, that he copied the poem from old manuscripts. His copies, if he had them, and I believe him to have none, are nothing. Where are the manuscripts? They can be shown if they exist, but they were never shown. No man has a claim to credit upon his own word, when better evidence, if he had it, may be easily produced.


But, so far as we can find, the Erse language was never written till very lately for the purposes of religion. A nation that cannot write, or a language that was never written, has no manuscripts. 

'But whatever he has he never offered to show. If old manuscripts should now be mentioned, I should, unless there were more evidence than can be easily had, suppose them another proof of Scotch conspiracy in national falsehood. 

'Do not censure the expression; you know it to be true.

'My compliments to Madam and Veronica.


'I am, Sir,

'Your most humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'February 7, 1775.'


What words were used by Mr. Macpherson in his letter to the venerable Sage, I have never heard; but they are generally said to have been of a nature very different from the language of literary contest. Dr. Johnson's answer appeared in the newspapers of the day, and has since been frequently re-published; but not with perfect accuracy. I give it as dictated to me by himself, written down in his presence, and authenticated by a note in his own hand-writing, 'This, I think, is a true copy.'


'MR. JAMES MACPHERSON,

'I received your foolish and impudent letter. Any violence offered me I shall do my best to repel; and what I cannot do for myself, the law shall do for me. I hope I shall never be deterred from detecting what I think a cheat, by the menaces of a ruffian.

'What would you have me retract? I thought your book an imposture; I think it an imposture still. For this opinion I have given my reasons to the publick, which I here dare you to refute. Your rage I defy. Your abilities, since your Homer, are not so formidable; and what I hear of your morals, inclines me to pay regard not to what you shall say, but to what you shall prove. You may print this if you will.

'SAM. JOHNSON.'


Mr. Macpherson little knew the character of Dr. Johnson, if he supposed that he could be easily intimidated; for no man was ever more remarkable for personal courage. He had, indeed, an aweful dread of death, or rather, 'of something after death;' and what rational man, who seriously thinks of quitting all that he has ever known, and going into a new and unknown state of being, can be without that dread? But his fear was from reflection; his courage natural. His fear, in that one instance, was the result of philosophical and religious consideration. He feared death, but he feared nothing else, not even what might occasion death. 


Many instances of his resolution may be mentioned. One day, at Mr. Beauclerk's house in the country, when two large dogs were fighting, he went up to them, and beat them till they separated; and at another time, when told of the danger there was that a gun might burst if charged with many balls, he put in six or seven, and fired it off against a wall. 

Mr. Langton told me, that when they were swimming together near Oxford, he cautioned Dr. Johnson against a pool, which was reckoned particularly dangerous; upon which Johnson directly swam into it. He told me himself that one night he was attacked in the street by four men, to whom he would not yield, but kept them all at bay, till the watch came up, and carried both him and them to the round-house. 


In the playhouse at Lichfield, as Mr. Garrick informed me, Johnson having for a moment quitted a chair which was placed for him between the side-scenes, a gentleman took possession of it, and when Johnson on his return civilly demanded his seat, rudely refused to give it up; upon which Johnson laid hold of it, and tossed him and the chair into the pit. 

Foote, who so successfully revived the old comedy, by exhibiting living characters, had resolved to imitate Johnson on the stage, expecting great profits from his ridicule of so celebrated a man. Johnson being informed of his intention, and being at dinner at Mr. Thomas Davies's the bookseller, from whom I had the story, he asked Mr. Davies 'what was the common price of an oak stick;' and being answered six-pence, 'Why then, Sir, (said he,) give me leave to send your servant to purchase me a shilling one.


I'll have a double quantity; for I am told Foote means to take me off, as he calls it, and I am determined the fellow shall not do it with impunity.' 

Davies took care to acquaint Foote of this, which effectually checked the wantonness of the mimick. Mr. Macpherson's menaces made Johnson provide himself with the same implement of defence; and had he been attacked, I have no doubt that, old as he was, he would have made his corporal prowess be felt as much as his intellectual.


(This series is brought to you by Bob’s Bowery Bar™, conveniently located at the northwest corner of Bleecker and the Bowery: “My good friend Bob of his eponymous Bowery Bar has always believed in the admirable adage ‘Give the people what they want’, and so I should like to apprise my viewers of Bob’s new Vegetarian Menu, featuring such succulent dishes as ‘Bob’s Mom’s Fried Groat Cakes ‘n’ Boiled Cabbage’, ‘Bob’s Spaghetti ‘n’ Farm-Fresh Butter’ and,

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part 107


Sunday, January 10, 2016

Boswell’s Life of Johnson: 105


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D., Associate Professor of Illustrated Literature Studies; Assistant Dominoes Team Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Case of the Erudite Highwayman, the Olney Community College Press.

Art and layout personally supervised by rhoda penmarq (design, pencils, inks, and coloring by eddie el greco; lettering by roy dismas) for penmarqatron productions™.

to begin at the beginning, click here

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'To MR. PERKINS.

'SIR,

'You may do me a very great favour. Mrs. Williams, a gentlewoman whom you may have seen at Mr. Thrale's, is a petitioner for Mr. Hetherington's charity: petitions are this day issued at Christ's Hospital. 

'I am a bad manager of business in a crowd; and if I should send a mean man, he may be put away without his errand. I must therefore intreat that you will go, and ask for a petition for Anna Williams, whose paper of enquiries was delivered with answers at the counting-house of the hospital on Thursday the 20th. My servant will attend you thither, and bring the petition home when you have it. 

'I beg pardon for giving you this trouble; but it is a matter of great importance.

'I am, Sir,

'Your most humble servant,

'SAM JOHNSON.'

'October 25, 1774.'


'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ.

'DEAR SIR, 

'There has appeared lately in the papers an account of a boat overset between Mull and Ulva, in which many passengers were lost, and among them Maclean of Col. We, you know, were once drowned; I hope, therefore, that the story is either wantonly or erroneously told. Pray satisfy me by the next post. 

'Mrs. Thrale has fallen from her horse, and hurt herself very much. The rest of our friends, I believe, are well. My compliments to Mrs. Boswell. 

'I am, Sir, Your most affectionate servant, 


'SAM. JOHNSON.' 

'London, October. 27, 1774.'

This letter, which shows his tender concern for an amiable young gentleman to whom he had been very much obliged in the Hebrides, I have inserted according to its date, though before receiving it I had informed him of the melancholy event that the young Laird of Col was unfortunately drowned.


'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ. 

'DEAR SIR, 


'Last night I corrected the last page of our Journey to the Hebrides. The printer has detained it all this time, for I had, before I went into Wales, written all except two sheets. As soon as I can, I will take care that copies be sent to you, for I would wish that they might be given before they are bought; but I am afraid that Mr. Strahan will send to you and to the booksellers at the same time. Trade is as diligent as courtesy. I have mentioned all that you recommended. Pray make my compliments to Mrs. Boswell and the younglings. The club has, I think, not yet met.


'Tell me, and tell me honestly, what you think and what others say of our travels. Shall we touch the continent? 

'I am, dear Sir,

'Your most humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'Nov. 26, 1774.'

In his manuscript diary of this year, there is the following entry:—

'Nov. 27. Advent Sunday. I considered that this day, being the beginning of the ecclesiastical year, was a proper time for a new course of life. I began to read the Greek Testament regularly at 160 verses every Sunday. This day I began the Acts.


'In this week I read Virgil's Pastorals. I learned to repeat the Pollio and Gallus. I read carelessly the first Georgick.'

Such evidences of his unceasing ardour, both for 'divine and human lore,' when advanced into his sixty-fifth year, and notwithstanding his many disturbances from disease, must make us at once honour his spirit, and lament that it should be so grievously clogged by its material tegument.


'DR. JOHNSON TO JOHN HOOLE, Esq.

'DEAR SIR, 


'I have returned your play, which you will find underscored with red, where there was a word which I did not like. The red will be washed off with a little water.

'The plot is so well framed, the intricacy so artful, and the disentanglement so easy, the suspense so affecting, and the passionate parts so properly interposed, that I have no doubt of its success.

'I am, Sir,

'Your most humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'December 19, 1774.'


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part 106


Monday, January 4, 2016

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Boswell’s Life of Johnson: 104


Edited by Dan Leo, LL.D., Assistant Professor of the Brewing Arts; Assistant Curling Team Coach, Olney Community College; author of Bozzie and Dr. Sam: The Case of the Missing Cask of Porter, the Olney Community College Press.

Art direction by rhoda penmarq (layout, pencils inks, and colors by eddie el greco; lettering by roy dismas) for penmarqatron productions™, ltd .

to begin at the beginning, click here

for previous chapter, click here






On the 5th of March I wrote to him, requesting his counsel whether I should this spring come to London. I stated to him on the one hand some pecuniary embarrassments, which, together with my wife's situation at that time, made me hesitate; and, on the other, the pleasure and improvement which my annual visit to the metropolis always afforded me; and particularly mentioned a peculiar satisfaction which I experienced in celebrating the festival of Easter in St. Paul's cathedral; that to my fancy it appeared like going up to Jerusalem at the feast of the Passover; and that the strong devotion which I felt on that occasion diffused its influence on my mind through the rest of the year.


'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ. [Not dated, but written about the 15th of March.]

'DEAR SIR, 'I am ashamed to think that since I received your letter I have passed so many days without answering it.

'I think there is no great difficulty in resolving your doubts. The reasons for which you are inclined to visit London, are, I think, not of sufficient strength to answer the objections. That you should delight to come once a year to the fountain of intelligence and pleasure, is very natural; but both information and pleasure must be regulated by propriety. Pleasure, which cannot be obtained but by unseasonable or unsuitable expence, must always end in pain; and pleasure, which must be enjoyed at the expence of another's pain, can never be such as a worthy mind can fully delight in.


'What improvement you might gain by coming to London, you may easily supply, or easily compensate, by enjoining yourself some particular study at home, or opening some new avenue to information. Edinburgh is not yet exhausted; and I am sure you will find no pleasure here which can deserve either that you should anticipate any part of your future fortune, or that you should condemn yourself and your lady to penurious frugality for the rest of the year.



'I need not tell you what regard you owe to Mrs. Boswell's entreaties; or how much you ought to study the happiness of her who studies yours with so much diligence, and of whose kindness you enjoy such good effects. Life cannot subsist in society but by reciprocal concessions. She permitted you to ramble last year, you must permit her now to keep you at home.

'Your last reason is so serious, that I am unwilling to oppose it. Yet you must remember, that your image of worshipping once a year in a certain place, in imitation of the Jews, is but a comparison; and simile non est idem; if the annual resort to Jerusalem was a duty to the Jews, it was a duty because it was commanded; and you have no such command, therefore no such duty.


It may be dangerous to receive too readily, and indulge too fondly, opinions, from which, perhaps, no pious mind is wholly disengaged, of local sanctity and local devotion. You know what strange effects they have produced over a great part of the Christian world. I am now writing, and you, when you read this, are reading under the Eye of Omnipresence.

'To what degree fancy is to be admitted into religious offices, it would require much deliberation to determine. I am far from intending totally to exclude it. Fancy is a faculty bestowed by our Creator, and it is reasonable that all His gifts should be used to His glory, that all our faculties should co-operate in His worship; but they are to co-operate according to the will of Him that gave them, according to the order which His wisdom has established.


As ceremonies prudential or convenient are less obligatory than positive ordinances, as bodily worship is only the token to others or ourselves of mental adoration, so Fancy is always to act in subordination to Reason. We may take Fancy for a companion, but must follow Reason as our guide. We may allow Fancy to suggest certain ideas in certain places; but Reason must always be heard, when she tells us, that those ideas and those places have no natural or necessary relation. When we enter a church we habitually recall to mind the duty of adoration, but we must not omit adoration for want of a temple; because we know, and ought to remember, that the Universal Lord is every where present; and that, therefore, to come to Jona, or to Jerusalem, though it may be useful, cannot be necessary.


'Thus I have answered your letter, and have not answered it negligently. I love you too well to be careless when you are serious.

'I think I shall be very diligent next week about our travels, which I have too long neglected.

'I am, dear Sir,

'Your most, &c.,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'Compliments to Madam and Miss.'


To The Same.


'DEAR SIR,

'The lady who delivers this has a lawsuit, in which she desires to make use of your skill and eloquence, and she seems to think that she shall have something more of both for a recommendation from me; which, though I know how little you want any external incitement to your duty, I could not refuse her, because I know that at least it will not hurt her, to tell you that I wish her well.

'I am, Sir,

'Your most humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ. 

'Streatham, June 21, 1774.

'DEAR SIR, 

'Yesterday I put the first sheets of the Journey to the Hebrides to the press. I have endeavoured to do you some justice in the first paragraph. It will be one volume in octavo, not thick. 

'It will be proper to make some presents in Scotland. You shall tell me to whom I shall give; and I have stipulated twenty-five for you to give in your own name. Some will take the present better from me, others better from you. In this, you who are to live in the place ought to direct. Consider it. Whatever you can get for my purpose send me; and make my compliments to your lady and both the young ones.


'I am, Sir, your, &c.,  'SAM. JOHNSON.'


'To JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ.

'DEAR SIR,

'I wish you could have looked over my book before the printer, but it could not easily be. I suspect some mistakes; but as I deal, perhaps, more in notions than in facts, the matter is not great, and the second edition will be mended, if any such there be. The press will go on slowly for a time, because I am going into Wales to-morrow.


'Of poor dear Dr. Goldsmith there is little to be told, more than the papers have made publick. He died of a fever, made, I am afraid, more violent by uneasiness of mind. His debts began to be heavy, and all his resources were exhausted. Sir Joshua is of opinion that he owed not less than two thousand pounds. Was ever poet so trusted before?

‘While Mrs. Boswell is well, never doubt of a boy. Mrs. Thrale brought, I think, five girls running, but while I was with you she had a boy.


'I am, dear Sir,

'Your most affectionate servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'July 4, 1774.'

'My compliments to all the three ladies.'


'TO BENNET LANGTON , ESQ., AT LANGTON, NEAR SPILSBY, LINCOLNSHIRE. 

'DEAR SIR, 


'You have reason to reproach me that I have left your last letter so long unanswered, but I had nothing particular to say. Chambers, you find, is gone far, and poor Goldsmith is gone much further. He died of a fever, exasperated, as I believe, by the fear of distress. He had raised money and squandered it, by every artifice of acquisition, and folly of expence. But let not his frailties be remembered; he was a very great man.

'I have just begun to print my Journey to the Hebrides, and am leaving the press to take another journey into Wales, whither Mr. Thrale is going, to take possession of, at least, five hundred a year, fallen to his lady. All at Streatham, that are alive, are well. 


'I have never recovered from the last dreadful illness, but flatter myself that I grow gradually better; much, however, yet remains to mend.

'Please to make my most respectful compliments to all the ladies, and remember me to young George and his sisters. I reckon George begins to shew a pair of heels.

'Do not be sullen now, but let me find a letter when I come back.

'I am, dear Sir,

'Your affectionate, humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

'July 5, 1774.'


'To MR. ROBERT LEVET.

'Llewenny, in Denbighshire, Aug. 16, 1774. 

'DEAR SIR, 

'Mr. Thrale's affairs have kept him here a great while, nor do I know exactly when we shall come hence. 

'Wales, so far as I have yet seen of it, is a very beautiful and rich country, all enclosed, and planted. Denbigh is not a mean town. Make my compliments to all my friends, and tell Frank I hope he remembers my advice. When his money is out, let him have more.


'I am, Sir,

'Your humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.'

*****

'MR. BOSWELL TO DR. JOHNSON.

'Edinburgh, Sept. 16, 1774.

'Wales has probably detained you longer than I supposed. You will have become quite a mountaineer, by visiting Scotland one year and Wales another. You must next go to Switzerland. Cambria will complain, if you do not honour her also with some remarks. And I find concessere columnae, the booksellers expect another book. I am impatient to see your Tour to Scotland and the Hebrides. Might you not send me a copy by the post as soon as it is printed off?'

*****

'TO JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ.

'DEAR SIR,


'Yesterday I returned from my Welch journey, I was sorry to leave my book suspended so long; but having an opportunity of seeing, with so much convenience, a new part of the island, I could not reject it. I have been in five of the six counties of North Wales; and have seen St. Asaph and Bangor, the two seats of their Bishops; have been upon Penmanmaur and Snowden, and passed over into Anglesea. But Wales is so little different from England, that it offers nothing to the speculation of the traveller.

'In the distribution of my books I purpose to follow your advice, adding such as shall occur to me. I am not pleased with your notes of remembrance added to your names, for I hope I shall not easily forget them.


'I wish you could have read the book before it was printed, but our distance does not easily permit it. 

'I purpose now to drive the book forward. Make my compliments to Mrs. Boswell, and let me hear often from you. 

'I am, dear Sir, 

'Your affectionate humble servant,

'SAM. JOHNSON.' 

'London, Octob. 1, 1774.'



This tour to Wales, which was made in company with Mr. and Mrs. Thrale, though it no doubt contributed to his health and amusement, did not give an occasion to such a discursive exercise of his mind as our tour to the Hebrides. I do not find that he kept any journal or notes of what he saw there. All that I heard him say of it was, that 'instead of bleak and barren mountains, there were green and fertile ones; and that one of the castles in Wales would contain all the castles that he had seen in Scotland.'


(This project is made possible through the continuing support of of the Bob’s Bowery Bar™ Endowment for the Humanities: “Like many who toil in the fields of literature and entertainment I tend to keep hours somewhat at odds with what my bohemian pals call ‘the square world’, and so I often find myself ready for breakfast when the common folk are ready for bed – no wonder that I often partake of the ‘All-Day ‘n’ All-Night’ breakfast menu at Bob’s Bowery Bar! Modesty shall not forbid me from recommending the eponymous ‘Sternwall Special’:

‘Bob’s Mom’s’ home-dried free-range chipped beef à la Béarnaise on two hearty slabs of home-baked whole-grain toast, topped with two cage-free fried eggs and sprinkled with East River Catfish Roe – wash it all down with a hearty schooner or two of Bob’s justly renowned basement-brewed house bock and you’ll experience as close as mortal man or woman is vouchsafed to experience of the sublime!” – Horace P. Sternwall, your host of Bob’s Bowery Bar Presents Horace P. Sternwall’s Tales of the Yukon, Tuesdays at 10pm (EST), exclusively on the Dumont Television Network.)



part 105