On Monday, June 14, and Tuesday, 15, Dr. Johnson and I dined, on one of them, I forget which, with Mr. Mickle, translator of the Lusiad {Portuguese epic poem written by Luís Vaz de Camões – Editor}, at Wheatley, a very pretty country place a few miles from Oxford; and on the other with Dr. Wetherell, Master of University-College. From Dr. Wetherell's he went to visit Mr. Sackville Parker, the bookseller; and when he returned to us, gave the following account of his visit, saying,
'I have been to see my old friend, Sack. Parker; I find he has married his maid; he has done right. She had lived with him many years in great confidence, and they had mingled minds; I do not think he could have found any wife that would have made him so happy. The woman was very attentive and civil to me; she pressed me to fix a day for dining with them, and to say what I liked, and she would be sure to get it for me. Poor Sack! He is very ill, indeed. We parted as never to meet again. It has quite broke me down.'
This pathetic narrative was strangely diversified with the grave and earnest defence of a man's having married his maid. I could not but feel it as in some degree ludicrous.
In the morning of Tuesday, June 15, while we sat at Dr. Adams's, we talked of a printed letter from the Reverend Herbert Croft, to a young gentleman who had been his pupil, in which he advised him to read to the end of whatever books he should begin to read.
JOHNSON. 'This is surely a strange advice; you may as well resolve that whatever men you happen to get acquainted with, you are to keep to them for life. A book may be good for nothing; or there may be only one thing in it worth knowing; are we to read it all through? These Voyages, (pointing to the three large volumes of Voyages to the South Sea {by the Captains Cook and King – Editor}, which were just come out) who will read them through? A man had better work his way before the mast, than read them through; they will be eaten by rats and mice, before they are read through. There can be little entertainment in such books; one set of Savages is like another.'
BOSWELL. 'I do not think the people of Otaheité {Tahiti – Editor} can be reckoned Savages.'
JOHNSON. 'Don't cant in defence of Savages.'
BOSWELL. 'They have the art of navigation.'
JOHNSON. 'A dog or a cat can swim.'
BOSWELL. 'They carve very ingeniously.'
JOHNSON. 'A cat can scratch, and a child with a nail can scratch.'
I perceived this was none of the mollia tempora fandi {times favorable to speaking}; so desisted.
Upon his mentioning that when he came to College he wrote his first exercise twice over; but never did so afterwards;
MISS ADAMS. 'I suppose, Sir, you could not make them better?'
JOHNSON. 'Yes, Madam, to be sure, I could make them better. Thought is better than no thought.'
MISS ADAMS. 'Do you think, Sir, you could make your Ramblers better?'
JOHNSON. 'Certainly I could.'
BOSWELL. 'I'll lay a bet, Sir, you cannot.'
JOHNSON. 'But I will, Sir, if I choose. I shall make the best of them you shall pick out, better.'
BOSWELL. 'But you may add to them. I will not allow of that.'
JOHNSON. 'Nay, Sir, there are three ways of making them better;— putting out,— adding,— or correcting.'
During our visit at Oxford, the following conversation passed between him and me on the subject of my trying my fortune at the English bar: Having asked whether a very extensive acquaintance in London, which was very valuable, and of great advantage to a man at large, might not be prejudicial to a lawyer, by preventing him from giving sufficient attention to his business;—
JOHNSON. 'Sir, you will attend to business, as business lays hold of you. When not actually employed, you may see your friends as much as you do now.
You may dine at a Club every day, and sup with one of the members every night; and you may be as much at publick places as one who has seen them all would wish to be. But you must take care to attend constantly in Westminster-Hall; both to mind your business, as it is almost all learnt there, (for nobody reads now;) and to shew that you want to have business. And you must not be too often seen at publick places, that competitors may not have it to say, 'He is always at the Playhouse or at Ranelagh, and never to be found at his chambers.' And, Sir, there must be a kind of solemnity in the manner of a professional man. I have nothing particular to say to you on the subject. All this I should say to any one; I should have said it to Lord Thurlow twenty years ago.'
The PROFESSION may probably think this representation of what is required in a Barrister who would hope for success, to be by much too indulgent; but certain it is, that as
'The wits of Charles found easier ways to fame,'
some of the lawyers of this age who have risen high, have by no means thought it absolutely necessary to submit to that long and painful course of study which a Plowden, a Coke, and a Hale considered as requisite. My respected friend, Mr. Langton, has shewn me in the hand-writing of his grandfather, a curious account of a conversation which he had with Lord Chief Justice Hale, in which that great man tells him,
'That for two years after he came to the inn of court, he studied sixteen hours a day; however (his Lordship added) that by this intense application he almost brought himself to his grave, though he were of a very strong constitution, and after reduced himself to eight hours; but that he would not advise any body to so much; that he thought six hours a day, with attention and constancy, was sufficient; that a man must use his body as he would his horse, and his stomach; not tire him at once, but rise with an appetite.'
(classix comix™ is brought to you by Bob’s Bowery Bar, still resisting the encroachments of gentrification at the northwest corner of Bleecker and the Bowery: “I should like to remind our local audience as well as visitors to our fair metropolis that every Wednesday night at Bob’s Bowery Bar is half-price pizza night! From 6pm to 3am all of our brick-oven pizzas will be only half of their already laughably low usual price! Be creative and choose from a variety of toppings including such classic favorites as pepperoni and anchovies as well as more exotic choices like broccoli rabe, gorgonzola and sun-dried tomatoes. All pizzas made from scratch using Bob’s Mom’s homemade pizza sauce and mozzarella made daily. For a mere fifty cents extra, try the Horace Special: a large pie ‘with everything’, served extra crispy!”
– Horace P. Sternwall, your host and narrator of Bob’s Bowery Bar Presents Philip Morris Commander’s “Blanche Weinberg, Lady Psychiatrist”, broadcast live 8pm Sundays {EST} exclusively on the Dumont Television Network. This week’s play: “The Ill-Humored Good Humor Man”, by Hank Pete Stokes, starring Kitty Carlisle as “Dr. Blanche”, with special guest star Red Skelton.)
part 261
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