On Sunday, June 27, I found him rather better. I mentioned to him a young man who was going to Jamaica with his wife and children, in expectation of being provided for by two of her brothers settled in that island, one a clergyman, and the other a physician.
JOHNSON. 'It is a wild scheme, Sir, unless he has a positive and deliberate invitation. There was a poor girl, who used to come about me, who had a cousin in Barbadoes, that, in a letter to her, expressed a wish she should come out to that Island, and expatiated on the comforts and happiness of her situation.
The poor girl went out: her cousin was much surprised, and asked her how she could think of coming. "Because, (said she,) you invited me." "Not I," answered the cousin. The letter was then produced.
"I see it is true, (said she,) that I did invite you: but I did not think you would come."
They lodged her in an out-house, where she passed her time miserably; and as soon as she had an opportunity she returned to England. Always tell this, when you hear of people going abroad to relations, upon a notion of being well received. In the case which you mention, it is probable the clergyman spends all he gets, and the physician does not know how much he is to get.'
We this day dined at Sir Joshua Reynolds's, with General Paoli, Lord Eliot, (formerly Mr. Eliot, of Port Eliot,) Dr. Beattie, and some other company. Talking of Lord Chesterfield;—
JOHNSON. 'His manner was exquisitely elegant, and he had more knowledge than I expected.'
BOSWELL. 'Did you find, Sir, his conversation to be of a superiour style?'
JOHNSON. 'Sir, in the conversation which I had with him I had the best right to superiority, for it was upon philology and literature.'
He put Lord Eliot in mind of Dr. Walter Harte.
'I know (said he,) Harte was your Lordship's tutor, and he was also tutor to the Peterborough family. Pray, my Lord, do you recollect any particulars that he told you of Lord Peterborough? He is a favourite of mine, and is not enough known.'
Lord Eliot said, if Dr. Johnson would be so good as to ask him any questions, he would tell what he could recollect. Accordingly some things were mentioned.
'But, (said his Lordship,) the best account of Lord Peterborough that I have happened to meet with, is in Captain Carleton's Memoirs.'
Johnson said, he had never heard of the book. Lord Eliot had it at Port Eliot; but, after a good deal of enquiry, procured a copy in London, and sent it to Johnson, who told Sir Joshua Reynolds that he was going to bed when it came, but was so much pleased with it, that he sat up till he had read it through, and found in it such an air of truth, that he could not doubt of its authenticity; adding, with a smile, 'I did not think a young Lord could have mentioned to me a book in the English history that was not known to me.'
An addition to our company came after we went up to the drawing-room; Dr. Johnson seemed to rise in spirits as his audience increased. He said, 'He wished Lord Orford's pictures, and Sir Ashton Lever's Museum, might be purchased by the publick, because both the money, and the pictures, and the curiosities, would remain in the country; whereas, if they were sold into another kingdom, the nation would indeed get some money, but would lose the pictures and curiosities, which it would be desirable we should have, for improvement in taste and natural history. The only question was, as the nation was much in want of money, whether it would not be better to take a large price from a foreign State?'
He entered upon a curious discussion of the difference between intuition and sagacity; one being immediate in its effect, the other requiring a circuitous process; one he observed was the eye of the mind, the other the nose of the mind.
A young gentleman present took up the argument against him, and maintained that no man ever thinks of the nose of the mind, not adverting that though that figurative sense seems strange to us, as very unusual, it is truly not more forced than Hamlet's 'In my mind's eye, Horatio.'
He persisted much too long, and appeared to Johnson as putting himself forward as his antagonist with too much presumption; upon which he called to him in a loud tone, 'What is it you are contending for, if you be contending?'
And afterwards imagining that the gentleman retorted upon him with a kind of smart drollery, he said, 'Mr. ——, it does not become you to talk so to me. Besides, ridicule is not your talent; you have there neither intuition nor sagacity.'
The gentleman protested that he had intended no improper freedom, but had the greatest respect for Dr. Johnson. After a short pause, during which we were somewhat uneasy,—
JOHNSON. 'Give me your hand, Sir. You were too tedious, and I was too short.'
MR. ——. 'Sir, I am honoured by your attention in any way.'
JOHNSON. 'Come, Sir, let's have no more of it. We offended one another by our contention; let us not offend the company by our compliments.'
He now said, 'He wished much to go to Italy, and that he dreaded passing the winter in England.'
I said nothing; but enjoyed a secret satisfaction in thinking that I had taken the most effectual measures to make such a scheme practicable.
(classix comix™ is brought to you by Bob’s Bowery Bar, conveniently located at the northwest corner of Bleecker and the Bowery: “Say, have you ever had one of those late night parties that inexplicably lasted well past the hour when, in the words of my good friend Samuel Beckett, the sky is ‘that horrible colour which heralds the dawn’?
I confess such has often come to pass with yours truly, and what better way to ease your way into oblivion than a stop at Bob’s Bowery Bar, opening every morning at seven? Do yourself a favor and do what old Uncle Horace does – request the eponymous’s Horace’s Hangover Prevention Breakfast: two eggs ‘any style’, fried blood pudding, four thick rashers of Irish bacon, home fries, breaded ‘n’ fried pickled Jersey tomatoes, Heinz baked beans, and lots of buttered sourdough toast to sop it all up. Wash this kingly feast down with an imperial pint of Bob’s justly renowned basement-brewed bock and you’ll sleep the day away like a baby and wake up ready to run a mile!”
– Horace P. Sternwall, host and narrator of Bob’s Bowery Bar Presents Philip Morris Commander’s “Blanche Weinberg, Lady Psychiatrist”, broadcast live 8pm Sundays {EST} exclusively on the Dumont Television Network. This week’s presentation: “A River View from Bellevue”, by Humbert P. Stumbleton, starring Kitty Carlisle as “Dr. Blanche”, with special guest stars The Three Stooges.)
part 266
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